So for the last week I've had my head in a good place, I convinced myself that these tingling sensations that I am feeling is due to nerve compression of the L5/S1 area so knowing that its something quite simple as that has bade me feel at ease, however today I have had more muscle spasms today which has caused me greater concern and because of this my anxiety has hit the roof.
Tomorrow is the neurology appointment, I'm glad to be finally seeing someone for my nerve issues but am scared of being diagnosed with something really bad. Most people with health anxiety believe each time that they get some new illness that this illness will be the one to kill them off, I truly believe that right now and I hope that I'm wrong. At present I am catastrophizing and painting images in my head of the diagnosis from the doctor to me with me sitting in a small room in a hospital with my head in my hands thinking about my little girl & my partner and that her daddy wont be around to see he grow up, just typing this up is making me quite tearful, oh please god please don't let this be anything bad, I love my family so much. I really need to get a grip on this anxiety, I cant keep letting it dictate my life.
Im off again now to wallow in my self pity
David
No comments:
Post a Comment